


Old Souls

by billtheradish



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billtheradish/pseuds/billtheradish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Captain Pike," Sarek offered with a soft lift of his chin.  "I was not aware you were well enough to leave the medical bay."</p><p>"Neither is Doctor McCoy," the captain said with a smile that was more pained grimace. "Acting Captain Kirk convinced him to take a break, using the good doctor's favorite strategy." He had recovered enough to offer an expression of true amusement when he met Sarek's eyes again and saw the question there. "Surprise hypospray."</p><p>---</p><p>A quiet moment during the voyage back to Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Souls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [florahart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahart/gifts).



> So. I didn't actually offer this fandom, but I wrote this because I loved the prompt for it. I am not scientifically minded, I do not easily understand Vulcans (I'm usually good with alien mindsets, but Vulcans? Not so much.), and I have always figured I'd mess it up.
> 
> Here's hoping I didn't.
> 
> Note: There's a pronoun discrepancy in the text. It's intentional, and it's there for a reason.

Sarek brushed the back of his hand against the barrier keeping him from the void beyond. Transparent metal, rather than a screen. The visible distortions where Nero's weapons had broken through the ship's shields were enough to confirm that, even without the touch, but the faint shock of cold was-- 

Not pleasant, but...calming, in a way.

There was something soothing in the black expanse of the void, as well. It was barren in the same way a desert was: lacking distinction, without life, empty of hope...until one knew how to look, and found it bursting.

His desert was gone, now. The rocks and sand his father had used to explain the difference between permanence and resilience had been destroyed. The rocks had not been worn away or broken into dust, though. They had not outlasted him, and his children, and his children's' children, as his father had intended.

Normally, that loss would be soothed by the knowledge that the composite elements of the stones still existed. That most of it would at some point, join with new material and change form, perhaps once again becoming stones on far reaching planets, or moons, or in space itself..

But that knowledge was beyond him. They did not know the science behind the red matter, and it would be foolish to assume that what he knew of a normal black hole applied to a manufactured one. 

So. It was, then, possible. It was possible that there was nothing left, of those stones. It was possible that the matter itself had been destroyed. That it was too much to hope for, that even subatomic particles still lingered to continue her existence in some other form, at some other time, in some other place.

It was a strange thing to focus on. He hadn't thought of those stones in decades. Not since they'd travelled to his father's home, so he could repeat those childhood lessons for Spock as he had for Sybok. They were a part of his history, but a minor one. Largely irrelevant.

Anything more relevant than those stones, however, threatened to erode his control. That was something he knew and acknowledged, though acceptance was--somehow still difficult. 

Everything was difficult.

There was no chime or alert, but the doors slid open, and Sarek turned. There were only two people it could have been: one was supposed to be on the bridge, and the other in medical, under sedation.

Evidence suggested Captain Pike was under less sedation than perhaps advisable.

The captain didn't acknowledge him, at first. Focused on forcing his wheeled chair through the door and, if Sarek was not mistaken, out of sight from the hallway.

"Captain Pike," Sarek offered with a soft lift of his chin. "I was not aware you were well enough to leave the medical bay."

In truth, he suspected the captain was _not_ well enough, operating from will and emotion rather than-- Common sense, rather than logic. For this situation, that was the human equivalent. The fact remained that the lines of Captain Pike's face were drawn taut, that he was both breathing and perspiring more heavily than could be explained by the exertion of operating the chair, and that when he pulled his hands up to the arms of the chair instead of the wheels (only two meters into the room, just enough to entirely leave the range of the door sensors), his hands were shaking.

"Neither is Doctor McCoy," the captain said with a smile that was more pained grimace. "Acting Captain Kirk convinced him to take a break, using the good doctor's favorite strategy." He had recovered enough to offer an expression of true amusement when he met Sarek's eyes again and saw the question there. "Surprise hypospray."

"I see."

"Indeed," Captain Pike agreed, the lilt and cadence of his voice suggesting mild amusement, shared more than cruel (a distinction that had escaped him until-- until he had reason to hear it, every day). "I expect I only have a few minutes until someone notices I'm gone, but. I needed out of there. I needed to see them."

It would have been nonsensical, if the captain hadn't turned his attention to the observation wall. There were no systems near enough to view with the naked eye and, with the ship limited to its thrusters alone, even the illusion of movement was probably too faint for the captain to distinguish.

The stars could be their own reason, he supposed.

"That seems a little sentimental for you, though," the captain continued after a minute and a half of quiet contemplation. "Why are you here?"

Sarek stepped away from the wall and walked toward Pike, gesturing at the back of his chair. "May I?" The captain nodded and Sarek pushed him closer to the observation wall. "This is a logical place for me to seclude myself, in order to organize my thoughts."

"I'm sorry for intruding," the captain started, but quieted at a mild gesture as Sarek moved to stand beside him, rather than behind.

"Not at all. The company is welcome. My contemplations were...not as productive as they could have been."

"Hmm," Pike settled further into his chair, wincing twice in the attempt to find a more comfortable position as, presumably, the medications dulling his pain began to wear off. "I'm curious, though. I know how _I_ got in here..."

"I am still a Vulcan ambassador to Earth and the Federation," Sarek reminded him, forgetting, for a moment, that the designation now stood only for his race, not-- "Due to the length of my service as such, Starfleet allows me override access to most ambassadorial suites or conference rooms, such as this one, when they are not in use."

"Right," Pike laughed. Stopped on a gasp and clenched teeth. 

Sarek was content to wait. The lines of pain relaxed after a moment, and Captain Pike opened his eyes again on a careful breath. "I forgot. That's-- I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Of course, had I wished, I could have merely remained in my quarters," Sarek offered. "The true advantage to this room is that my codes can designate meeting personnel as confidential, preventing anyone aside from the captain and first officer, under usual circumstances, from being able to locate and disturb me."

He gave the captain time to contemplate that, then added, "When you have completed your observations, I will escort you back to medical.”

"Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was everything you wanted, [florahart](http://archiveofourown.org/users/florahart/pseuds/florahart).
> 
> Thanks to my roommate for beta reading this on short notice, despite being in another country. <3


End file.
